Entry into my "blessings" journal, from camp natchamama '09

We did the "challenge course" today. One challenge was to scale a 8-10 ft. wall, with only 1 person to help you up. I went up , and  had to help Juliette up. I was able to held her, but not pull her anymore. The people below gave her a boost & she was able to swing a leg over. As she did, she looked at me and told me to let go of one of her hands.... I couldn't do it. All I could think of was what if she falls, it will be all my fault because I let go. After enough protest, I let go and she was able to swing over and get up. I had to let go , and put her in God's hands.

Daddy, I'm scared.

So, it's been a rough day. One of those days where the panic sets in. All day, I have been freaking out a little bit about Frank's job prospects. There is something so very unsettling about him not having a job. I am fully aware that God will provide, I have seen it time and time again. It's amazing how he works, how his math isn't the same as mine, and how he provides exactly what I need when I need it. I have countless stories of his provisions in my life. Still, there is comfort in having a stable income, and on the flip, very uncomfortable when you don't. Especially for me, I'm a planner. I like to have a plan, stick to the plan, and for everything to go... as planned. God has worked on me with that. I don't freak out as much anymore about my plans :). Doesn't mean I don't "love it when a plan comes together" (thanks Hannibal).

So, today was rough. Hard to plan anything, until you know what you can base it off of. As I drove home tonight, I fell apart. "Daddy, I feel like you are leading me blindfolded. I don't know which way we are going, and what the destination is. I'm scared Daddy.". Then I felt the Lord say to me " you may not know where you're going, but you know me. You know who I am. You know I love you. You know that even if you can't see what is going on, you know that I would never lead you to a place where you would be harmed." hmmmmm, he always knows just what I need.

So, it occurs to me. If someone blindfolds you, it is usually to surprise you. Can't wait to see what's ahead!