Let me clarify, first off, I'm not wallowing in this. My heart is broken, but God is hugging me through the tears. I fully know that the path I am on, is where God has me, and what is best for me. It is just that the path has some briers along the way, and when I get a thorn in my foot, it hurts for a while, but God pulls it out and kisses my boo boo's. So, I don't question where I am and what God is doing. God has blessed me, and I am seeking the Joy in everything. Still the moments come...
So, back to sitting here. Thinking, God I just have these moments when the lump in my throat rises, and the magnitude of it all envelopes me. Will I just have a day when I will wake up and the lump will be gone, heart mended? It made me think about building a house. When you pick out your plans and say build it, part of you wants it to just be done. But the faster it is built, the more likely that corners are cut, and the house is not as stable as you anticipate. To build the house, you have to be patient. You have to go back, choose a different color, different carpet, different hinges for the door; because the original choices just wont work well. It is what is best for the house, and everyone in it; for you to be patient and flexible. At the end, when all your decisions are made, you have a house that withstands the storms, protects your family, and is a sanctuary.
So, here I am, being patient while God builds me up; to withstand the storms, protect my family, and be a sanctuary.
Still standing firm on Psalms 62:5-8
